The retreat is supposed to start in less than a year, and time for building is getting short. When I think about it, I go into a kind of controlled panic, involving two conflicting thoughts: I have to get this thing going vs. there is nothing I can do to make it happen faster. I have a hypothetical timeline in my mind that keeps shifting as conditions change, but always the pressure is on.
Now we are on a 3-month break from classes at Diamond Mountain, and I was hoping that certain minimal things would happen during that time. The first was to get a permit from the county for the building I had in mind, the second — seemingly most unsurmountable, since everyone who is willing to come out to DM to build is already way overbooked — was to find a contractor, and the third was to get started, at least perhaps a foundation.
I'm learning that standing over the project and wringing your hands doesn't help at all, but I'm not sure what does help. So I took my lama's advice and went on a six-week trip and tried not to think about it too much, but rather to concentrate on working hard to help with the programs in Asia. While we were away, the plans were submitted, and just before I got back they were approved. One big hurdle overcome.
But I was still really worried about trying to find someone who could build it. I'm actually not that good at construction, at least I don't think I would be. And it didn't look as if there were many people lining up to help. So more worry about if it's even possible. Then Kevin Warren turned up and said he'd work on it, and he thinks it's not impossible, and even seems to be looking forward to it. So that makes it more of an actual possibility, and he can start soon — the third hurdle.
So now this is my new worry — money. For now, it seems as if the retreat cabin has set foot into the realm of possibility, but it's going to cost more than I had thought, maybe more than I have. And there is more than just my cabin; there are a lot of other people here who don't have money and don't have plans. They have even less hope than I do and we need to come up with ways to take care of them too.
